It's Cool to Hate

Obscure cross-reference time! I fell asleep listening to Ixnay, had a dream with the cast of The Breakfast Club, and came up with this T-shirt design in the morning:

Needless to say, but actually I'm far from hating Ally Sheedy. The freak basket case was easily the best character, and she looked incredibly hot in that 80's goth outfit.

This reminds me, after T-Rez announced the long-awaited return of NIN, I came up with another design. Be careful though, it's full of irony - watch it too long, and your screen might begin to rust...

Shirt templates stolen from here, some of the polaroid frames from here. 

A.F.O.G.

Rewatched Prometheus the other day. Like most Ridley movies, it was a good deal more enjoyable the second time around and - did you notice how friggin' ripped Noomi Rapace looks in it? Among all the Giger-esque body horror it's not hard to overlook the great deal of physical training that woman went through for the role, but if you stop and look for a moment, or maybe compare Dr. Shaw with the original Lisbeth Salander, whoa.

Weyland Corporation - Building Better Muscles

It's kind of funny how hard they try putting Charlize Theron into this powerful, dominating, basically bully character, while it's pretty clear that Noomi could take Her Skinniness out without much effort. Still, both of them could kick my ass, if it came to that, and realizing this I felt compelled to buy a pair of dumbbels and start working out properly, or at least the way I did back then, during those brighter days.

So dear Prometheus crew, thanks a lot for inspiring me, and be blessed by His Bald Retocnness' holy touch or whatever. I'm off to drink some diet black goo.

Music You Will Never Own: JJ&E Xtend[r]ed[d]

Last year's Dredd was such a disastrous undeserved box office flop, I have to buy a full-price BD copy. As a nerd who knows his duty, I'd advise every living soul on the planet to do the same, first, because it could redeem itself as a home video hit the same way Batman Begins did, and second, because it's a cool movie.

Think of a gritty, down to earth 2000 AD story, put it in The Raid's Die Hard's one place settings with the toned down, it's-almost-like-today futurism of the X-men movies for budgetary reasons, add a few glimpses of gimmicky 3D to the mix and you've got a nice little action flick with Karl Urban being cooler than anyone in the current cobwebbed Expendables cast. And although I hated Lena Headey as Sarah Connor, judging from this movie, she could easily take on the role of Ellen Ripley, but now I'm really drifting into theoretical off-topic waters here.

It's a shame that Paul Leonard-Morgan's score was mixed so low in most of the scenes, the same way Piranha killed its soundtrack in 2010: I was having a ball listening to the OST album for half a year before I finally got to see the movie (don't judge me for this: I lived in two countries during the last six months, and Dredd wasn't released in neither of them during my stay), and hardly hearing anything from the music I've loved so much was kind of a letdown. It's hard-hitting, kick-ass "John Carpenter meets pre-2000 style NIN" electro-industrial stuff, cool, violent, but melodic, with the just the right amount of tongue-in-cheek attitude, and best of all, it's repetitive as hell, which makes it awesome for workouts.

My favorite track is the almost feelgood "Judge, Jury and Executioner," originally about 2 minutes in length, but here you can listen to a looped to death 5:33 version. (vimeo mirror)

You can also take it with you by clicking here (MP3, 320kbps, 12,6 MB). Do some push-ups or cardio work while playing it, you'll feel like one badass mofo.

Briefing: Pacific Rim

The Good

A year before the big guy arrives, we'll get to see Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim, Legendary Pictures' other attempt on Americanizing all Japan-o-philes' and Godzilla fans' favorite giant monster sci-fi extravaganza genre, the kaiju eiga. ("Kaiju" means "monster" in Japanese, sometimes written as "daikaiju" for "giant monster", while "eiga" simply means "movie".) A viral video hit the web today, showing deleted scenes from Cloverfield a news report on a creature destroying the Golden Gate bridge (let's mourn it with The Room theme), narrated by a voice eerily similar to the "Would you like to know more?" guy's from Starship Troopers.

The Bad 

While the premise of kaijus attacking different parts of the world around the Pacific Ring of Fire (hence the title) sounds great to me, the plot will mostly focus on the Jaegers (from "jäger", the German word for "hunter"), these huge fighting machines built by mankind to battle the kaijus. Yup, giant robots vs. giant monsters will be our main attraction  Does it sound like a silly Transformers cash-in? Absolutely. But hey, it's a del Toro flick, let's give it a chance.

And the Ugly

According to the viral site Pan Pacific Defense Force, the American Jaeger is called Gipsy Danger, a name that may sound awesomely cool and romantic on the other side of the Atlantic, but will undoubtedly cause awkwardness in some Central-European countries. I don't envy the translators and distributors back home.

Pacific Rim is out on July 12, 2013. Visit here for in-game updates.

Da Funky Bunkah

Here's something I miss from UK cinemas, the latest "please turn off your phone" spot from Orange, featuring half of the Expendables 2 cast, and James Buckley (one of the actors from the long-running British TV show The Inbetweeners, kind of a celebrity over there), playing their awkward new recruit, "Orange Communications officer" Robert Crumper.

Lionsgate has been really busy taking the video down from every sharing site, so I'm not sure how long this copy will remain watchable. You can try find it on this link, too.

orange spot expendables 2 from Daniel on Vimeo.

All the jokes, especially the movie references with the subtlety of an average Michael Bay action scene - "Call Trench [the name of Arnie's character], we're evacuating! We'll be back for you, Crumpy" - fall magnificently flat. Still, there's something really fun and likable about that geeky kid. Probably just because I'm an egoist and he reminds me of myself and my webdwelling ge-generation. Also, that orange/grey military clothing actually looks kinda cool, unlike the try-hard com/ma/cho/ndo outfits worn by Sly and the others.

They should do a movie about Crumper. In the right hands he could be the John McClane of my generation, with some heavy, but actually entertaining camp value. Get Buckley for the role, and who knows, they might won't even need that boring blue/grey filter from every post-2007 action flick to make him appear young.

Gawd, now I told them real good, didn't I?

Just for the record, I still found The Expendables to be somewhat enjoyable, and you can bet your ass arse I'll be watching the sequel. Can't wait to see ol' Chuck single-handedly cameo-ing everyone out of existence. Or something like that.

Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki

Dear James,

thanks for tragically ruining the lives of at least a dozen families, while giving movies and somewhat shy, almost anti-social nerds a bad name again. 

Congratulations on your shockingly original gimmicks, declaring yourself to be the Joker is certainly the most creative thing one could have done post-2008, and that subtle "Gingers have no soul!" reference with your dyed hair, whoah, hands down bro, it's a real shame you didn't try your luck in Hollywood.

I'm looking forward to reading your books though, written while spending your lifelong sentence, feeding on your one month legacy, brought to everyone by Warner Brothers, with special thanks to Bob Kane and Christopher Nolan.

Have fun! 

Your pal,

The Bloggler

(or something clever like that)

- -

And without wasting any serious words on this, I'll just put The Joker Blogs' tribute here. It expresses everything that I'd like to say, way better and memorable than I'd ever be capable of.

Capital G

Say hello to the latest incarnation of the one and only Godzilla, brought to you by Legendary Pictures and director Gareth Edwards. He's expected to stomp his way into the theaters in 2014, precisely ten years after Final Wars, his latest Japanese flick, in the year that marks the franchise's 60th birthday.

This reboot is going to be the second G-flick produced, shot (and probably set) in the United States, but it won't have much to do with Roland Emmerich's universally and somewhat unfairly penned incarnation from 1998. Director Gareth Edwards promises an ultra-realistic, pretty dark (knight) approach.

The pic above is a photo of the concept teaser Legendary showed to the audience at Comic-Con this year. The reactions have been overwhelmingly positive, but if any further footage has been shot, it has yet to surface. Here's a report, while we're waiting:

The teaser (which was shown twice) is fairly brief, with the camera slowly moving through an utterly devastated urban landscape. There’s even a building that looks like a monster walked right through it, and we see the suggestion of a six-armed beast lying dead in rubble. Then the money shot: Godzilla, seen from behind, turning his head to the camera in profile before emitting the monster’s signature screech. 

The vision of Godzilla was more a suggestion than a detailed reveal, but the guy is HUGE, with a tail and spines up his back that are very clearly meant to evoke the classic creature design. The head is a bit more elongated than the first couple iterations of the beast, but not to the degree of the version seen in the Emmerich remake.
While director Gareth Edwards (Monsters) did come out on stage, where he proclaimed that he’s making a realistic film rather than a sci-fi picture, we don’t know how this teaser represents the film he plans to make. If any footage has been shot for the film (I don’t know that we’ve even had confirmation before this that it is greenlit) it has done so in total secrecy, so what we saw today might be more proof of concept than anything else. ~ slashfilm.com

I'm incredibly hyped about this project. While Godzilla is an icon of camp, cheesy special effects, and nonsense sci-fi stories, he could and has been much more than that. Way before the rubber suit wrestling and kid friendly crapfests from the 1960's and -70's, Ishiro Honda's original Gojira, harbinger of the whole kaiju eiga genre, offered something entirely different. In a surprisingly sad, brooding tale about the horror of the H-bomb and mankind's responsibility over destructive weapons, the monster itself was nothing more then an easy gimmick, politically correct sci-fi exploitation of a troubled nation's memories just a decade after Hiroshima. Sixty years old suit-motion effects or not, that flick got one hell of a mood, and If Gareth can summon something from that feel in today's setting, we're in for a treat.

So far what I really like is that although we're going to get a CGI Godzilla - judging from the pic, at least - they will stick to the classic idea of the creature's design, a bulky, fatass sarurian badass, walking erect and angry, but always taking his time. It may seem dated (especially compared to the Dean Devlin designed, Jurassic Park-influenced 1998 Zilla), but trust me, among today's collective modern idea of those pathetic anorexic dinosaurs, often depicted with feathers, an old-school lizard like the Japanese big guy will be a refreshing sight.

It's time to make the word prehistoric equal cool again. Wishing the best of luck to Mr. Edwards.

Alien Retconnection - Agyadba áll a Halál

"The light is wrong," grumbles Sir Ridley Scott. “What's wrong with the light?” [empire]

Did that script look f*cking right to you, Sir?

Thoughts on Prometheus. Spoilers ahead.

You're Gonna Need a Bigger Screen

Szóval néhány UK mozi oldalán mostanság ilyeneket lehet olvasni:

JAWS

Jaws back on the big screen. Coming soon - register for a ticket alert.
Running time:120mins.
Due to be released: 15/06/2012
Friday 15th June

Mi is a véleményem erről a filmről? => Klikk. Nem túlreagálván, abszolút izgalommentesen fogadva eme tényleg fantasztikus re-release hírét (Jurassic Park? mehh! Titanic 3D? pihha! Episode I? pfijj!), most csak annyit írnék:

! ! ! GJIÁÁÁÁÁÁRGH, FUCK YEAH ! ! !

Good Ol' Life, Fate, God Or Whatever, don't you dare screw this up for me.

Don't you fucking dare.

Music You Will Never Own: 'Return of the Killer Tomatoes!' (1988) Original Soundtrack

The theme song still remains the same, the plot itself has hardly changed, we hear during the opening credits, but nevertheless, the second installment in John De Bello's campy Killer Tomatoes quadrilogy (yup, there's four movies and even a cartoon show) is arguably a huge improvement over the original, usually the most beloved among tomato fans, partly thanks to the awesome soundtrack.

And yes, this is the one starring George Clooney. Among others.

There's many catchy little tracks besides the updated to the '80s theme song (you can find the full list on IMDb), right now I'll mention only two favorites of mine.

1; Big Breasted Girls Go To The Beach And Take Their Tops Off

Like poetry in motion, like a perfect wave / Gonna ride with the wind and spend the money I saved, you gotta love a song with lyrics like that. Featured in the fake sexploitation opening, reprised during the end credits as Big Breasted Tomatoes.

I wish Dexter and co. had ripped off parodied something similar instead of Katy Perry. Pseudo-dumb feelgood beach tunes hardly get any better than this one.

2; Tomatoes K, or the detective tune

Calling it that because of the obvious influence of Axel F, the Beverley Hills Cop theme. Here's two scenes featuring this synthpop germ, among Clooney, Steve Lindquist, John Astin, and last but not least, Anthony Starke. Man, I love that guy.

I could listen to that song for hours while stalking people, running around in gardens, or riding some expensive Honda quad. And drinking Pepsi, of course. This music is basically the essence of '80s pop culture, in it's brightest, cheesiest, very best form. Just like the movie itself.

But if this film does well, you see / we're sure you know predictably / it won't be long... until Part Three! Sadly, it didn't do well. Return of the Killer Tomatoes! was a huge, undeserved flop and - Neal Fox, one of the composers has confirmed this - a soundtrack release was out of question.

Some years ago I came across a Big Breasted Girls fan cover, which could still be floating around on the web, but there's no way I could track it down with this restricted library connection. It's a pity, really.

Maybe Someday soon if I keep prayin' a bootleg will turn up. If You, Dear Reader have any information about such an outrageous copyright-rape, please don't hesitate to inform me about it. A lot of us would appreciate it.

I think it's time for you gentlemen to leave.

UK streets are filled with unintentional pop cultural references. What would your thoughts be, for example, if you happened to be a fan of the eighties cheese-glory ride cult movie Road House, and its main character, tai-chi philosopher slash hard-boiled bouncer maestro Dalton, played by the late Patrick Swayze, and you spotted a pub called 'Dalton Arms' one day?


Of course, almost every pub around here is named after some kind of coat of arms, that's a well-known tradition even in Hungary. Nevertheless, I think the owners of DA are failed to recognize the possibilities behind this badass name - the place could be redesigned (maybe under the command of a real bouncer vet) to an '80s action film nostalgia zone, inspired by the Double Deuce itself.

Just think about it: an all-American disco on the road (something like this was actually the movie's Hungarian title), in the middle of Great Manchester. Blasphemy, but some people, including your humble narrator would love it for sure.

Face Me Again

"Time passes. Horror does not."
Alan Dean Foster

It's been a year and two (three?) days since my little blog was born. Totally forgot about the anniversary. Anyways, I filled my life again thanks to some minor changes. This is how it looked last year and here's myself right now:

Also, I've seen Paranormal Activity 2. Instead of writing another What Happens When You Sleep?, I've judged it five seconds movie style:

If you'll ever watch the whole thing combined with a drinking game, make sure to take a little sip every time that pool is on screen at night. By the end, you'll be screaming.

With laughter.

Dear Quentin,

please stop using the Wilhelm scream.

Seriously.

Nowadays it's a widely known, overused, clichéd, tired tradition.

Yes, we get it, you know movies and movie history. You can stop reminding us now.

Soon I'll write something worth reading here again, it's a promise.

Too Good Too Bad

I smoked a cigarette tonight. Unable to sleep, I stepped to my window around one A.M. and lit this fag I got from a lady friend last weekend. Taking a leak from the very same window five months ago, shooting into the flow of raindrops from four stories high didn't feel nearly this strange. Damn drunken summer nights.

And damn leather jacket pockets. The cig broke at more than one points, its filter was completely destroyed, and I still can't get used to that old shitty taste. It's not like I wanted to, but still managed to feel it way too many times in the last two months. Damn freshmen camps.

You could define me a social smoker. I'd call myself as an anti-social one. Standing there alone, breathing in and out, slowly, like a dying whale that ran ashore, I was thinking about growing up, becoming independent, walking under an unearthly weight of a million responsibilities. Besides the usual I could use a Coke thought, only one thing hit my mind in conclusion: I'm going to write a filler post that makes absolutely no sense, but it'll have a crazy twist ending in the last sentence.

Here, have a look at Jerry O'Connell's chomped off penis.

Knewsick Shows Its Teeth

Well now. Seems like 5 days before the album's official release date, you can listen to the closing titles from Michael Wandmacher's Piranha 3-D score. Oh boy. Seriously.

This is the kind of badass music that makes you feel like your d!ck has grown 9 inches.

Even if you are a girl.

Presenting:

P3D End Titles from Chris Lydecker on Vimeo.

Oh yeah, baby. Oh yeah :)

Association, I'm Lovin' It

Back in 2000 I saw a music video for Armand van Helden's Koochy, a song which is basically a remixed-the-living-shit-out-of-it version of the classic Cars by Gary Numan. With its '80s retro feel the thing is still one of my favorite music videos, It's nothing more than and nothing sort of a stock footage glory, featuring scenes from documentaries, sci-fi movies and porn flicks, centered around a concept which is - at least I think - depicting the essence of an orgasm via technical mayhem. Check it and keep an eye out for the robot that sings, more like talks the lyrics:

He's called Box, and he stars in the classic 1976 sci-fi movie Logan's Run. Did you notice anything strange on him? Since a good third of my readers are hardcore gamers, you probably should. I've photoshopped this little picture so the ones living in blessed ignorance (= no game-addicts) could see how awesome this talking toaster is:


Yes, he's wearing the friggin' Xbox logo! And yes, he's actually called Box. What the hell. You'd think the movie somehow managed to pay homage for a console that came out almost thirty years later. Or that the designers were Logan-fans. Or maybe what we're seeing here is just plain coincidence.

But seriously, anybody heard something official on this? I did not, but this is why I associate Gary Numan with the Xbox. Let's move on.

One of the most fun games I ever played on the X360 (thanks to my pal Mykee, I never show him, but he's grooming me for being a real addict) is an FPS called Borderlands. Set on planet Pandora (no, not that one), you make your way through deserts with futuristic weapons, and... whatever, just watch the intro here. Cool, huh?

And what's the coolest thing about it? The soundtrack, that way-too-cool-for-this-Earth song, Ain't No Rest For the Wicked. It's a real shameful cliché among their fans, but that's how I learned about the artist behind it, a band called Cage the Elephant.

Cage. The. F'cking. Elephant.

These guys are this month's Dickies, something thats awesomeness nearly poked my eyes out for years, but I haven't noticed them until recently. Their music is glorious, miraculous, spectacular, amazing, sea-you-al. The whole self-titled album is so kewl with catchy tunes and sharp lyrics in every song, that I had to make a fan group for them on iWiW. I encourage you to join it if you have an account, and like their music, being the only member of my own club is a bit boring and a helluva lot embarrassing, too :)

Well, this is why your humble jellyfish associates deserts and ugly dogs with the X360 and one of his favorite bands. No summary or any kind of wisdom this time. Or maybe... association is fun, so is this song by CtE. See you later, Dear Readers.

You Really Call This Civilization?

Watch this little clip from Godzilla 2000 and notice the incredible acting skills, coming complete with a wonderful English dub. Such a dramatic scene, I almost feel bad laughing at it.

Try this link in case YouTube killed the video star.

No need for further comments, I guess. I'm watching all this kaiju eiga stuff again, Japanese trash movies that makes you feel like your brain has shrunk two sizes because of the plot, while the action scenes - with their rubber/plastic badassness - make your wiener become a whole inch longer.

In G2K I actually found the thing that's close to what I saw in my mind when I first thought about the term "microwave jellyfish". It's an entity called The Millennian, a squid-like creature from outer space, who after two minutes of screen time mutates itself into Godzilla's main foe, Orga. Here, have a look:

The first full CGI monster in the whole series. Gayest looking kaiju ever?

Naw, that would be Mothra actually, but since she's a female monster - a goddess, in fact - she doesn't really count. She's one of the most interesting characters, though, no matter how hard fans of reptilian badassness bash her. As a giant butterfly, full of love and motherly instincts instead of destructive periods, Mothra is so awesome at depicting what's nice, beautiful and lovely in this world, that some movie fans actually started to worship her as a real goddess. Check out Mothra's Shrine, a webpage dedicated to this plastic insect. It has a lot of good stuff, everything you need to know if you want to become a follower.

Here's Mothra's own Eleven Commandments for example, with girly letters, that makes everything seem so cool like... the cover of Fight Club:

1. Thou shalt rever (sic!) Mothra, as with the powers of the universe, and hold love in thy soul for all life.
2. Thou shalt rever (sic!) the Earth and life itself, and protect these to any means.
3. Thou shalt protect, and cooperate with, others of thy race to greater ends.
4. Thou shalt not harm or kill others who posess (sic!) life as thou dost.
5. Thou shalt trust in Mothra's love and power always, and hold trust and faith in thy fellows.
6. Thou shalt keep thy word when thou givest it, and treat others always with respect.
7. Thou shalt sing and chant in praise to Mothra and to worship life and love.
8. Thou shalt remember that Mothra will protect thee always.
9. Thou shalt give thyself and others a chance at rebirth and a chance to change for the good at all oppurtunities (sic!).
10. Thou shalt never insult or hold negative feelings toward others; thou shalt always remember love.
11. 11. Thou shalt not be ashamed to stand up for thy faith, and thou shalt not condemn others for their own faiths.

You know what? Deal. From now on, I'm an idolater, I guess. These commandments sound pretty good, although when I pray to Mothra, I won't use her theme song. Something more... Gojira-esque would fit me better.

Yes, my Dear Readers. These all are a just a few reasons why Japanese trash is so awesome.

Dreams and Dick's

One million dollar questions. Two of them.

1) Why don't we have someone who narrates our life?

In my dreams there's always one. When I'm running from policecars at night with my bike still missing those lights, somehow a voice tells me which crossroads should I be aware of, if there's a cop around there and if they've spotted me yet. Stuff that comes handy. I could use a narrator like that in real life.

1+) Speaking of dreams, why did Leo remind me of my cousin when I saw this Inception trailer?

He was the one who introduced me to Alien not long after I first saw JAWS. Grooming a real horror/creature flick fanboy nerd. He's a good man. Too bad we haven't met in years.

2) How come I've never heard about The Dickies before?

After a full year of living in the depressing industrial world with a few weak sunbeams coming from The Rip-Offspring (oh, come on guys, stealing from Foo Fighters? That's low.), I've finally found punk music again that won't make you emo, nor a jackass with his personality replaced with political ideas. For a whole day now I've been listening to Killer Klowns, the theme song for that b movie Killer Klowns from Outer Space (any questions?), and Banana Splits - I'm sure you've heard this one, it was used in Kick-Ass trailers and during Hit Girl's very first massacre scene. This music makes me happy, like some kind of drug injection through my earphones. F'ckin' awesome feeling.

You can listen to both songs on this MySpace page. Have fun, Dear Readers.

Now I'm going to watch Die Hard and think about my ex-girlfriend. No sexual pun intended, tra la la, tra la la la...

Boobs and Blood

Have you seen the new trailer for Alex Aja's Piranha 3-D? You really should check it out:

That Ripley-ish face when one of the CGI fish screams (!) at the girl, whoa - I think I'm in love with Jessica Szohr. Seriously.

The film is basically a remake of the original 1978 Piranha, the JAWS-parody by Joe Dante. Unlike its sequel, The Spawning/Flying Killers (James Cameron's first movie) and the 1995 TV remake by Roger Corman, this new version won't avoid humour, which is a good thing. People who already trash it, they just don't get the joke, I think.

This is tongue in cheek, a b movie, the kind that doesn't even tries to look anything other than that. Dumb, silly fun with naked chicks, bloodbath, roaring cartoon fish, and A-list actors saying and doing cheesy things. Notice how Christopher Lloyd uses his Doc Brown-voice to emphasize the line "THIS particular piranha VANISHED two million YEARS ago...", while Richard Dreyfuss is dressed as the character he played 35 years ago in JAWS. Should I mention that allegedly there's a nearly 30 minutes long massacre scene? Throw any objective POV out of the window, I already friggin' love this movie.

Someday I will say something clever about the real life "it's funny when horrible things happen" scenarios. Now I'm just hyping my most anticipated movie of the year. Spring break is gone, but summer's almost here. Stay out of the water, kids.

Second thought, don't do it. Stay in water, kids. I wanna see sexy teenage girls getting torn apart, and I wanna see it now!

PS: Yesterday I made an account on of the most useless community sites, you can check out what's up with me there.

Dino Porn

Sometimes I try to write movie scripts when I'm drunk. Really weird, but somehow cool ideas come this way all the time. I've just made a teaser poster for the latest one, don't be shy, click on it:

Here's a link for the uncensored version - kids stay away, I mean it.

Yes, I'm thinking about making a dinosaur porn. Not a very original idea, but listen: It would be a hardcore sci-fi romance, set on Earth in the year 2293. It's a typical cyberpunk future with all the great skyscrapers, flying cars, underground gangs and walls of computers that look like they were made in the 1960s. But besides all this, mankind has finally cloned dinosaurs - mutant ones, who are really intelligent, capable of thinking, speaking like a human, and feeling real emotions, including love and lust.

Our main characters would be two cops/detectives (investigating sexual crimes of course), a young girl called Miki (it's a Japanese women's name, as a little tribute to the Heisei era of the Godzilla films, that's all the significance it has), who happens to end up as the roommate of her colleague, Gabriel (now I'm not sure why I chose this name - but I think it has a nice chemistry with Miki), an eight foot tall, genetically engineered, violent Deinonychus. Of course, as an inside joke, everyone would call him a Raptor, because of the infamous Jurassic-screw up with the species classification, first by Michael Crichton (RIP), later by the creators of the film, who modelled the raptors with Deinonychus scale. (Stan Winston was a real talent nevertheless, sad R, I and P letters for him too.)

Anyways, these two would end up together as the first human-dinosaur couple. Reptile and primate. Interspecies stuff, yes, but don't forget, I'm not talking about zoophilia. It's something futuristic, entirely fictional. And cool. A bit like the old dragon and virgin princess scenario, set in the future, with a surprising twist.

Oh, yeah, Miki should definitely be an Asian girl. I think they are the cutest specimens of the Homo sapiens, and would make an aesthetic contrast with those huge carnivores. Seriously, this stuff could be the new Twilight. Only that it would be really provocative, funny, interesting, and could easily earn a cult status. The Fifth Element on crack, or something like that.

Now I just have to write the script and find a producer who's crazy enough. Wish me luck, while you are calling me a pathetic zoophile nerd who should get a life. (I won't deny that last statement.) Hollywood, I'm coming.

Roar.