Music You Will Never Own: 'Return of the Killer Tomatoes!' (1988) Original Soundtrack

The theme song still remains the same, the plot itself has hardly changed, we hear during the opening credits, but nevertheless, the second installment in John De Bello's campy Killer Tomatoes quadrilogy (yup, there's four movies and even a cartoon show) is arguably a huge improvement over the original, usually the most beloved among tomato fans, partly thanks to the awesome soundtrack.

And yes, this is the one starring George Clooney. Among others.

There's many catchy little tracks besides the updated to the '80s theme song (you can find the full list on IMDb), right now I'll mention only two favorites of mine.

1; Big Breasted Girls Go To The Beach And Take Their Tops Off

Like poetry in motion, like a perfect wave / Gonna ride with the wind and spend the money I saved, you gotta love a song with lyrics like that. Featured in the fake sexploitation opening, reprised during the end credits as Big Breasted Tomatoes.

I wish Dexter and co. had ripped off parodied something similar instead of Katy Perry. Pseudo-dumb feelgood beach tunes hardly get any better than this one.

2; Tomatoes K, or the detective tune

Calling it that because of the obvious influence of Axel F, the Beverley Hills Cop theme. Here's two scenes featuring this synthpop germ, among Clooney, Steve Lindquist, John Astin, and last but not least, Anthony Starke. Man, I love that guy.

I could listen to that song for hours while stalking people, running around in gardens, or riding some expensive Honda quad. And drinking Pepsi, of course. This music is basically the essence of '80s pop culture, in it's brightest, cheesiest, very best form. Just like the movie itself.

But if this film does well, you see / we're sure you know predictably / it won't be long... until Part Three! Sadly, it didn't do well. Return of the Killer Tomatoes! was a huge, undeserved flop and - Neal Fox, one of the composers has confirmed this - a soundtrack release was out of question.

Some years ago I came across a Big Breasted Girls fan cover, which could still be floating around on the web, but there's no way I could track it down with this restricted library connection. It's a pity, really.

Maybe Someday soon if I keep prayin' a bootleg will turn up. If You, Dear Reader have any information about such an outrageous copyright-rape, please don't hesitate to inform me about it. A lot of us would appreciate it.