You Really Call This Civilization?

Watch this little clip from Godzilla 2000 and notice the incredible acting skills, coming complete with a wonderful English dub. Such a dramatic scene, I almost feel bad laughing at it.

Try this link in case YouTube killed the video star.

No need for further comments, I guess. I'm watching all this kaiju eiga stuff again, Japanese trash movies that makes you feel like your brain has shrunk two sizes because of the plot, while the action scenes - with their rubber/plastic badassness - make your wiener become a whole inch longer.

In G2K I actually found the thing that's close to what I saw in my mind when I first thought about the term "microwave jellyfish". It's an entity called The Millennian, a squid-like creature from outer space, who after two minutes of screen time mutates itself into Godzilla's main foe, Orga. Here, have a look:

The first full CGI monster in the whole series. Gayest looking kaiju ever?

Naw, that would be Mothra actually, but since she's a female monster - a goddess, in fact - she doesn't really count. She's one of the most interesting characters, though, no matter how hard fans of reptilian badassness bash her. As a giant butterfly, full of love and motherly instincts instead of destructive periods, Mothra is so awesome at depicting what's nice, beautiful and lovely in this world, that some movie fans actually started to worship her as a real goddess. Check out Mothra's Shrine, a webpage dedicated to this plastic insect. It has a lot of good stuff, everything you need to know if you want to become a follower.

Here's Mothra's own Eleven Commandments for example, with girly letters, that makes everything seem so cool like... the cover of Fight Club:

1. Thou shalt rever (sic!) Mothra, as with the powers of the universe, and hold love in thy soul for all life.
2. Thou shalt rever (sic!) the Earth and life itself, and protect these to any means.
3. Thou shalt protect, and cooperate with, others of thy race to greater ends.
4. Thou shalt not harm or kill others who posess (sic!) life as thou dost.
5. Thou shalt trust in Mothra's love and power always, and hold trust and faith in thy fellows.
6. Thou shalt keep thy word when thou givest it, and treat others always with respect.
7. Thou shalt sing and chant in praise to Mothra and to worship life and love.
8. Thou shalt remember that Mothra will protect thee always.
9. Thou shalt give thyself and others a chance at rebirth and a chance to change for the good at all oppurtunities (sic!).
10. Thou shalt never insult or hold negative feelings toward others; thou shalt always remember love.
11. 11. Thou shalt not be ashamed to stand up for thy faith, and thou shalt not condemn others for their own faiths.

You know what? Deal. From now on, I'm an idolater, I guess. These commandments sound pretty good, although when I pray to Mothra, I won't use her theme song. Something more... Gojira-esque would fit me better.

Yes, my Dear Readers. These all are a just a few reasons why Japanese trash is so awesome.

Dreams and Dick's

One million dollar questions. Two of them.

1) Why don't we have someone who narrates our life?

In my dreams there's always one. When I'm running from policecars at night with my bike still missing those lights, somehow a voice tells me which crossroads should I be aware of, if there's a cop around there and if they've spotted me yet. Stuff that comes handy. I could use a narrator like that in real life.

1+) Speaking of dreams, why did Leo remind me of my cousin when I saw this Inception trailer?

He was the one who introduced me to Alien not long after I first saw JAWS. Grooming a real horror/creature flick fanboy nerd. He's a good man. Too bad we haven't met in years.

2) How come I've never heard about The Dickies before?

After a full year of living in the depressing industrial world with a few weak sunbeams coming from The Rip-Offspring (oh, come on guys, stealing from Foo Fighters? That's low.), I've finally found punk music again that won't make you emo, nor a jackass with his personality replaced with political ideas. For a whole day now I've been listening to Killer Klowns, the theme song for that b movie Killer Klowns from Outer Space (any questions?), and Banana Splits - I'm sure you've heard this one, it was used in Kick-Ass trailers and during Hit Girl's very first massacre scene. This music makes me happy, like some kind of drug injection through my earphones. F'ckin' awesome feeling.

You can listen to both songs on this MySpace page. Have fun, Dear Readers.

Now I'm going to watch Die Hard and think about my ex-girlfriend. No sexual pun intended, tra la la, tra la la la...